Conceptual Model 57
Let’s think a bit about the conceptual model because this may help you understand more deeply why mindfulness can help.
Mindfulness practice helps us be more aware and accepting of all experience, both pleasant and unpleasant. But remember that a lot of people are drawn to practice mindfulness to help them cope with stress or the unpleasant experiences of life that can trigger all sorts of unhealthy, unhelpful reactions. The stress triggers, at the top of this image, differ for individuals.
Take a moment to think of some of the things that set you off, that trigger you, that affect your mood, that stress you out. If you wish, take a moment to write a few of these down.
Now that you’ve identified your stress triggers, let’s consider how we all might typically react to them when we react without thinking, as if we’re on some automatic pilot.
On the left, you can see a box that says disengage. Sometimes we try to escape the unpleasant stuff and try to push it away. Some examples include simply avoiding the stressor, doing something more pleasant like watching videos on our phones, or trying to push something out of our minds. For kids, serious problems like drug and alcohol use, cutting or self-harming behavior can signal efforts to avoid whatever is making them unhappy underneath. When we avoid things, we get better at avoiding. This mean we become less tolerant for things that we don’t like or things that are unpleasant. Ultimately, we lose some of our ability to roll with the punches and our emotions and behavior become less flexible and resilient.
The right side tells another story about coping.
The box says over-engage. This is the tendency to try to understand or fix things that don’t go our way with overthinking, ruminating or obsessing about the circumstances. We can become hypervigilant and see potential problems everywhere and we can interpret interactions with other people in incorrect ways, assuming they’re being mean, rejecting or angry at us. For kids, serious problems like depression and anxiety can signal ruminative or anxious tendencies. This path, too, makes us better at worrying and hurts our ability to be resilient in the face of life’s disappointments.