Consider that many of the ways we’ve learned to cope with stress depend upon a well-functioning executive or cognitive control network. Reappraising thoughts, coming up with a plan, let alone implementing it, can all be helpful techniques, but we need sufficient emotional balance and regulation to actually carry them out. The strategies listed on this slide are common ones used in stress management programs for both youth and adults.

These strategies assume we are in sufficient control of our thoughts and feelings so that we can be planful, organized, and strategic in our stress management. Perhaps an unintended consequence is that we interpret the underlying message as needing to ‘fix the problem.’ or, going one step further, “fix the problem by making it go away.”

But what if we’re not in any shape to do that? And what if the stress is not going away any time soon?